in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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