U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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