So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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