thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize