i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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