all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
