I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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