I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
