i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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