shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you would pick up someone in the library
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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