32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
