Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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