Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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