I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
