I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize