I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize