Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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