i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
