No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
