I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
