we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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