Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
