he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
