the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize