i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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