drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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