I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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