Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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