i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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