I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
