Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Floor bacon is actually really good
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
