I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So squirting runs in the family.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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