i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
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How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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