Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
