you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
