Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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