I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
