I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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