Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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