Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
