So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
