how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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