Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
