you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
