Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize