Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
