I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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