this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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