I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
