Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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