OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
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rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
These tits shall not be calmed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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