THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
