just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
