love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
