Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
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I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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