Girls should come with a carfax report
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
