Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
