Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.