I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
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last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house