but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
