Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize