The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
