At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
