how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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