bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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